Challenges of bringing up next generation

Raising children is much more challenging in today's scenario than  in any other time. Being parent is no easy job . In today`s world its hard to be parent .Even though parenting is about beautiful moment, bonding, laughter and love...It is at the same time overwhelming,exhausting and stressful.

One can see a set of parents who are very strict with certain rules and regulation. Mostly they will have high expectation from their kids. When kids violate their rules, parents become extremely strict and punish their children, most often without any discussion. Generally, parents won’t listen to or try to understand their child’s point of view. They will never let their  children to make his or her own decision. They always want to control the situation.. Children raised under this kind of control often likely to experience a nervous breakdown, become runaways, or otherwise rebel against their parents.So its very important not to become authoritarian parent who are highly demanding ,but not particularly responsive towards their children needs and concern.

There are second set of parents who are extremely lenient without setting any behavioral expectation. Such children often turn out to be spoiled brats.They most often get what they want from their parents. These children expect others also do the same.Giving what they want without checking whether they really want is extremely dangerous. Often such kids turn out to be impulsive,drug addict and thrill seekers. Its important not to become indulgent parent who are extremely lenient.

There are third set of parents who do not pay any attention to their children. Neglectful parent I call them.They will let the child do whatever they want without any guidelines. They are mostly not involved much with their children. Children with no emotional connection with their parents feel unwanted, neglected.They try to become independent as they often see their parents as not dependable. Such kids find it hard to be in social situations. They often turn out to be wild and rebellious. So its very important not to become a parent who are neglectful .

Then what is the most effective form of parenting. Consider child's feeling and problem above all else .Guide children to make their own choices and solve their own problem. Give them freedom and independence to create their own path in life.Important tool to overcome conflict between parent and children is to have a nonviolent communication.Don`t threaten a child when they do not listen.Such threat do not lead the child anywhere.Often child will land up doing the opposite of what you have said.Key to proper discipline is not punishment.

Try to have a friendly conversation with them. Meal time,traveling time,bed time,story telling time are the moments where one can bond best with their children.Always try to seize teachable moment.Remember they idolize you and mimic your behavior most often.The time when we were child has changed today. If parents want to remain relevant to the world of their child, then they have to become familiar with the kid’s lifestyle.Be relevant to your child`s life.

Try to avoid jackal communication."Jackal"is the language of demands.This language is from the head. It is a way of mentally classifying people into varying shades of good and bad, right and wrong. Ultimately, it provokes defensiveness, resistance, and counterattack.In Jackal culture, feelings and wants are severely punished. People are expected to be docile, subservient to authority; slave-like in their reactions, and alienated from their feelings and needs.

Best solution is to implement Giraffe communication."Giraffe" is the language of request.The Giraffe has the largest heart of any land animal, is tall enough to look into the future, and lives its life with gentility and strength. Likewise, Giraffe bids us to speak from the heart, to talk about what is going on for us-without judging others.Speaking from the heart is a gesture of love, giving other people an opportunity to contribute to our well-being and to exercise generosity. Empathetically receiving what is going on in others is a reciprocal gesture. Giraffes experience love as openness and sensitivity, with no demands, criticism, or requirements to fulfill requests at either end of the dispute. And the outcome of any dialogue ruled by love is harmony.

All said and done. Let me remind you ...when the child is born ,Parent is also born. So follow your own  instinct . You already have it. So experiment with it. See what works best for you and for your child. Come out with your own parenting style which works best for you !

Try to deposit emotions in children bank account. Fruits would start ripening later, though late..Children learn by repetition. Be willing to work with your children over and over. On those tiresome days, when you become weary from taking the time to teach them, remember....let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up....