Handful of water
felt strengthened
to see hands full...

very next moment
felt enervated
seeing the infinite ocean !

 

Computer painting

This is my experiment with art using computer paint tool !

When are you getting married ?

When are you getting married? There is no shortage of people who like to poke their nose in others affairs and like to just ask annoying questions and offer even more annoying advice.This question is one of the most dreaded questions one dares to ask every now and then.When a nosy relative asks you this question in a wedding party, its highly  irritating and it sucks !

Person who is single often confronts this question in family gathering.Polite answer to this fairly rude question is not easy. It becomes very difficult when they start pestering you too much.I honestly don't understand why it seems like the vast majority of people don't have the common sense to shut up about what's none of their business.

Its really irritating when other people do project their external standards onto you? It sounds like they are making a lot of judgements about how things 'should' be, but life is more varied than that and whatever path you choose is equally valuable.The people who normally ask this question are mostly older,pretty blunt with their questioning and never give up until they wear you out.Since you can`t ignore them out of respect,you just have to sit there and take the punches as they dish them out.

"Oh,you are single at your age? Whats wrong with you? You need to hurry,your biological clock is ticking." Please keep your concern and advice to yourself .Don`t torture others !

It seems like this one question that is universal when you get to a certain age.It does not matter which place you belong, whether you are male or female.When you hit 25 and you are not married ,everyone around you starts getting restless.So what is the big deal with being single ? Being single now a days is having a illness.You don`t necessarily feel you are ill.Its the way people around you treat !

Parents often nag too much about marriage. At times it becomes very hard to convince them. They land up doing emotional blackmail which only leads you to wonder whether you have done  any crime being single !If all your friends are married and if you happen to meet them , conversation often  turns towards your marriage, following enumerable questions why you have not got married?

Common folks ! Spare single people.

Maybe some people aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free till they find someone just as wild to run with them. There is nothing wrong with them or with their horoscope or with their destiny.They are moving with their own pace in their own path.When they decide to get married. They surly will inform you . So till then shut your mouth and stop bugging with your question !

And all you singles, out their ,If you happen to meet the right person, If you happen to get married. Don`t be too happy. There will be folks with one more annoying question.

When are you having kids?

Looks like we can never get rid of annoying questions coming on our way !

So folks chill. Get the dirt off from your shoulder and learn to  ignore those annoying questions...

What does education mean ?

I wonder if we ever asked ourselves what education means. Is this education all about mastering various subjects, passing  examination,competing with each other and getting a better grades.Is education all about  acquiring a job, an occupation. Is that all...If education limits itself only to earn a livelihood,then don`t you think we are missing the whole point .Most of us pass examination,find a job, get married ,have children and work like machine and gradually wither away...

I strongly feel education should help us to understand life.  Understanding life with all it subtleties and mysteries is more important than preparing for exam or finding a job. Is education making a student understand society.More over what does this society include?There is a constant battle between different groups,races and nation.Society is divided into rich and poor. The society is torn by conflicting beliefs by caste and class distinction.World is caught up between endless war. Society is guided by corrupt politicians who are always seeking power and money. There is constant battle of religious tradition.There are religious gurus and their thousands of gods to deal with. Society is filled with people who want position,money and all fighting with each other to get it. This is the world you are educated to fit in ! It is rotten and disastrous society you are expected to fit in !!

If you are educated,can you conform to such society without much obligation and be happy with your job and salary.Your current education tells you to be ambitious. One has to become successful and big man.That`s what it teaches you. In this process all you think is about yourself.You push other people aside because you are fulfilling your ambition.There is constant battle between you and others who are also after what you want.There is continuous competition with others, struggling for the first place.It becomes a routine and finally you land up being miserable and dull. Is this what education preparing all for...

Most teachers and parents,wants you to adjust and fit into society.They make sure to condition you properly  in every way so that you fit in. Sometimes, I feel education is needed for those educators ! The process of educating the educators needs immediate attention. Most of this people are telling you what to think. Well I guess, true education is to learn how to think and not what to think !

 Most parents make sure you follow religious ceremonies,superstitions. Its all pujas,words,mantras and ringing bells. You are not suppose to raise any questions about the significance. Just follow the ceremonies and conform to all they believe.Its fine as long as you nod your head to all their stupidity. This is what you are expected to fit in !
 
Society always tries to control ,shapes , moulds you. It teaches you what is right and wrong .What is good and  bad. It also tells what to believe and not to believe. Which god to follow ,which one not to follow.You are encased ,conditioned and shaped with patterned thinking .Your education is making sure you fit into such society perfectly !

One of the biggest problem in today's or modern education is that it is trying to make everybody a technician.You design cars,you construct road , make computers, build houses,make nuclear weapons....... and in the midst of all these technology we  forget that we are human being. We are so much trained ,our mind works like machine. We are calculating at every moment. Our mind rules more than our heart. We act more like a robot than a human being !

This so called civilization is no longer being held together by collective will. Its going into pieces. Life is challenging every moment. If you respond to these challenges by merely accepting, then your response has no validity.Don`t you think one should start investigating,exploring and should not be afraid to stand alone...Its very important to brake through the walls of tradition and authority.Take out all the conditioning of mind.Just braking away from all this...

The hope of new world is in those of you who begin to see what is false and revolt against it.One should seek a right kind of education which makes you grow in freedom so that you can create a new world which is not based on illogical traditions.

I would conclude with what I started this article with "what does education mean?" Most of us want an answer. We want to be told what it is all about.Will leave this question unanswered,because it is for you to understand by yourself. If you question, introspect, enquire, observe, be watchful and take interest to find out ,you shall discover.....

Let me sign off by asking....

"What does education really mean to you?"

Challenges of bringing up next generation

Raising children is much more challenging in today's scenario than  in any other time. Being parent is no easy job . In today`s world its hard to be parent .Even though parenting is about beautiful moment, bonding, laughter and love...It is at the same time overwhelming,exhausting and stressful.

One can see a set of parents who are very strict with certain rules and regulation. Mostly they will have high expectation from their kids. When kids violate their rules, parents become extremely strict and punish their children, most often without any discussion. Generally, parents won’t listen to or try to understand their child’s point of view. They will never let their  children to make his or her own decision. They always want to control the situation.. Children raised under this kind of control often likely to experience a nervous breakdown, become runaways, or otherwise rebel against their parents.So its very important not to become authoritarian parent who are highly demanding ,but not particularly responsive towards their children needs and concern.

There are second set of parents who are extremely lenient without setting any behavioral expectation. Such children often turn out to be spoiled brats.They most often get what they want from their parents. These children expect others also do the same.Giving what they want without checking whether they really want is extremely dangerous. Often such kids turn out to be impulsive,drug addict and thrill seekers. Its important not to become indulgent parent who are extremely lenient.

There are third set of parents who do not pay any attention to their children. Neglectful parent I call them.They will let the child do whatever they want without any guidelines. They are mostly not involved much with their children. Children with no emotional connection with their parents feel unwanted, neglected.They try to become independent as they often see their parents as not dependable. Such kids find it hard to be in social situations. They often turn out to be wild and rebellious. So its very important not to become a parent who are neglectful .

Then what is the most effective form of parenting. Consider child's feeling and problem above all else .Guide children to make their own choices and solve their own problem. Give them freedom and independence to create their own path in life.Important tool to overcome conflict between parent and children is to have a nonviolent communication.Don`t threaten a child when they do not listen.Such threat do not lead the child anywhere.Often child will land up doing the opposite of what you have said.Key to proper discipline is not punishment.

Try to have a friendly conversation with them. Meal time,traveling time,bed time,story telling time are the moments where one can bond best with their children.Always try to seize teachable moment.Remember they idolize you and mimic your behavior most often.The time when we were child has changed today. If parents want to remain relevant to the world of their child, then they have to become familiar with the kid’s lifestyle.Be relevant to your child`s life.

Try to avoid jackal communication."Jackal"is the language of demands.This language is from the head. It is a way of mentally classifying people into varying shades of good and bad, right and wrong. Ultimately, it provokes defensiveness, resistance, and counterattack.In Jackal culture, feelings and wants are severely punished. People are expected to be docile, subservient to authority; slave-like in their reactions, and alienated from their feelings and needs.

Best solution is to implement Giraffe communication."Giraffe" is the language of request.The Giraffe has the largest heart of any land animal, is tall enough to look into the future, and lives its life with gentility and strength. Likewise, Giraffe bids us to speak from the heart, to talk about what is going on for us-without judging others.Speaking from the heart is a gesture of love, giving other people an opportunity to contribute to our well-being and to exercise generosity. Empathetically receiving what is going on in others is a reciprocal gesture. Giraffes experience love as openness and sensitivity, with no demands, criticism, or requirements to fulfill requests at either end of the dispute. And the outcome of any dialogue ruled by love is harmony.

All said and done. Let me remind you ...when the child is born ,Parent is also born. So follow your own  instinct . You already have it. So experiment with it. See what works best for you and for your child. Come out with your own parenting style which works best for you !

Try to deposit emotions in children bank account. Fruits would start ripening later, though late..Children learn by repetition. Be willing to work with your children over and over. On those tiresome days, when you become weary from taking the time to teach them, remember....let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up....